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I Only Want To Be In Your Band
Bio I Just Want to be in Your Band is a song written and performed by Benny Hill for his impersonation of entertainer Kenny Rogers in "The Monte Carbolic Show" sketch on June 6, 1982. It also appears on the "Video Spotlight" DVD from HBO video. Lyrics We met in Santa Fe where she ran a small cafe First time that we kissed, my heart went thud. It was like a mouth full of nothing, but it tasted like heaven Sounded like a cow pulling it's foot out of the mud. I helped her bake a pudding; it was finger-licking good. And I thought that maybe someday she'd become my wife. She hollered from the kitchen, "Kenny, would you truss the chicken?" I said, "Of course, I would, my darling, with my life." I swear to God I only wanna love you, And I promise you that other men ain't banned. I don't mind playing second fiddle, oh my darling, I just wanna be in your band! This oil man from the West, he as sure as hell impressed My little shy and sensitive waif. He said, "I've so many gold teeth that I sleep every night with my head in a safe." He said, "Here's four hundred dollars if you come with me, darling, to my motel." It was quite unexpected, but she didn't fret and she wasn't upset. She just kept cool, calm and collected, But I just want to be the one you run to When you need someone to hold your hand. But I don't mind playing second fiddle, oh, my darling, I just wanna be in your band! This Englishman and this Aussie came in and started getting bossy. Then this French guy says, "Hey you come here. Have you got frog's legs?" I said, "Oui!" He said, "Right now let me see you hop over the bar and get me a glass of beer!" Then she walked through the door They just stood there in awe. I'm sure they've never seen a more beautiful sight. The Australian said, "By Golly." The Englishman said, "By George." And the Frenchman said, "By tomorrow night." Why do you need to have so many lovers? It's something I will never understand But I don't mind playing second fiddle, oh my darling, I just wanna be in your band! She said, "Kenny, you got a friendly face. "And your heart's in the right place. "It's a pity that the rest of you is not, "But you love me or so I'm told. but would you love me if I got old?" And like a fool, I said, "If you got old or what?" She went off with George and Bill. She took the money from the till. And good-bye was the only word she said. I pray that she'll come back again, I haven't slept a wink since then. Cause when she went away, she took the bed! But I learned to play Love's Violin when I was young, And I've known many lovely ladies in this land. But till the day I die I never will know why... She never once let me play in her band! Episode(s) * The Monte Carbolic Show Category:Songs Category:1982 Songs